Smart But Stuck: Emotions in Teens and Adults with ADHD Hardcover – March 17, 2014
Author: Thomas E. Brown | Language: English | ISBN: 111827928X | Format: PDF, EPUB
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Despite decades of research into the condition known as Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, many myths still persist. In "Smart But Stuck" I share stories of past clients who were extremely intelligent, yet got “stuck” at school, work, or in personal relationships because of their ADHD. These stories illustrate how emotions--both positive and negative--impact individuals with ADHD, and the steps those with ADHD can take to get “unstuck. ”
- Emotions like anger, fear, shame, or hopelessness can take over the mind of a person with ADHD, much like a computer virus takes over a hard drive. This flooding of negative emotion makes it difficult for the person to keep any other feelings in mind--feelings that would help them to deal with the situation at hand, such as remembering that the person they are so frustrated with is also someone they love and don’t really want to hurt.
- ADHD often looks like a simple lack of willpower because those with the disorder can focus well on a few specific activities that strongly interest them, yet have chronic difficulty focusing on other important tasks and activities. Evidence shows clearly that ADHD is not due to a lack of willpower--it’s a problem in the dynamics of brain chemistry.
- Persons with ADHD not only have problems managing negative emotions like anger; they also struggle to manage positive emotions like excitement and intense interest. An inability to manage positive emotions can be just as problematic.
- Some extremely bright students with ADHD fail in high school or college not due to a lack of intelligence, but because unrecognized emotional problems with fear, shame, or depression lead them to avoid going to classes, getting their work done, and sustaining friendships.
- Parents of a child with ADHD are often extremely stressed and may become polarized against each other. Typically one parent assumes the role of “butt kicker,” confronting the child each time he or she isn’t doing what is expected, while the other parent acts as the “marshmallow,” repeatedly making excuses for inappropriate behavior.
- As some women approach menopause they develop ADHD-like symptoms of inattention and memory problems. These symptoms--which often cause fears of Alzheimer’s--are sometimes improved with ADHD medications.
- Emotional problems of those with ADHD involve not only “putting the brakes on” emotions like anger or frustration. They also involve problems with “stepping on the gas” or ignition--the ability to overcome lethargy and procrastination to get started on necessary tasks.
- It’s often difficult for teens and adults with ADHD to feel strong enough motivation and feel it consistently enough to perform tasks where the payoff is further down the road (i. e. , where gratification is delayed).
- Recent research shows that a sizeable percentage of people with ADHD also suffer from significant problems in social relationships that are associated with Asperger’s syndrome or other autism spectrum disorders.
From the Inside Flap
Smart but Stuck offers a series of true stories about intelligent, capable teens and adults who have gotten “stuck” at school or work, or in social relationships because of their ADHD. These moving and sometimes surprising case histories illustrate the many facets of the disorder and detail strategies and treatments those with ADHD can use to get “unstuck.”
In these pages you’ll meet …
- Sue, who earned good grades until middle school, then lost motivation for schoolwork. Now in 9th grade, she’s frustrating teachers and family while losing hope for herself.
- Mike, a college student who recently found himself on academic probation. His dad has always told him he’s smart but just lazy, and now he’s starting to believe it.
- Steve, a computer programmer whose ADHD struggles have led to him losing his job—and his wife. He’s good at programming computers, but not at programming himself.
- Sarah, who’s had trouble keeping track of things and getting work done since she hit menopause. She never had such a hard time when she was younger.
Dr. Thomas Brown, an internationally known authority on ADHD, highlights the often-unrecognized role that emotions play in this complex disorder. And it’s not just negative emotions. As Brown shows, those with ADHD also have a hard time managing positive emotions about certain interests and activities, making it hard for them to shift gears and pay attention to immediate needs and responsibilities. Brown offers an updated view of ADHD and explains why even very bright people with ADHD can get stuck, struggling to motivate themselves for important tasks. He demonstrates why many with ADHD can have laser-like focus for some tasks while finding it difficult to concentrate on others. Above all, Brown details paths that people with ADHD can take to move on toward a more rewarding and productive life.
Books with free ebook downloads available Smart But Stuck: Emotions in Teens and Adults with ADHD Hardcover – March 17, 2014
- Hardcover: 288 pages
- Publisher: Jossey-Bass; 1 edition (March 17, 2014)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 111827928X
- ISBN-13: 978-1118279281
- Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.2 x 1 inches
- Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
- Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #15,696 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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The Author ix
Acknowledgments xi
Introduction 1
1 ADHD and the emotional brain 7
A new understanding of ADHD and emotions; why emotions can be so troubling in the lives of those with ADHD; how the ADHDbrain processes emotions differently; the influences of temperament and experiences on emotions and motivations.
2 Eric 43
“I’m in a great university where I want to do well, but I just can’t get myself motivated to do the work. I did really well in high school; nowmy grades have tanked. I’ve been spending too much time hanging out with my girlfriend and smoking weed. I’ve tried some ADHD medicines, but they make me too jittery.”
—20-year-old university student
3 Karen 65
“My parents always taught me that I have an obligation to behave and achieve in ways that would not bring shame on my family.When I failed out of college, they helped me prepare to try again. I wanted very much to do it, but on that critical day when I was supposed to start the last two courses I needed to get readmitted, I was too afraid to walk in the classroom door.”
—22-year-old university student
4 Martin 81
“I’m in Mensa, but I earned no credits in my first two years at college—I was too baked to get myself to class.Now I’mdoing well in a few courseswhere the professors are really interesting, but I can’t get started on writing papers and often skip class. . . .With my miserable academic record, what’s the use in my trying to graduate?”
—23-year-old university student
5 Sarah 103
“I’ve been married twenty-five years, have three great kids, and had a decent career as a journalist, but I just got fired because I couldn’t prioritize and keep up with my work. Sincemenopause I’ve hadtrouble keeping track of things and getting work done. I’ve always had some trouble with these things, but it’s recently been getting worse.”
—50-year-old homemaker and mother
6 Mike 119
“My dad always said that I’m smart but just lazy;maybe he’s right. I got put on academic probation, and now I have to drop out. I’m always spacing out and can’t get myself started on anything until the last minute. I tried my friend’s ADHD medicine and it helped a lot, butmy dad doesn’t wantme getting evaluated for ADHDbecause he says themeds are like steroids.”
—21-year-old university student
7 Lisa 137
“Other kids don’t seem to get my jokes and aren’t interested in who I am. I try to make friends, but no one ever calls me back when I call them. I try to talk with my parents about it, but my dad doesn’t understand kids and my mom’s always yelling at me. ADHD meds help me get schoolwork done, but they don’t help with social stuff.”
—15-year-old high school student
8 Steve 155
“My wife divorced me three months ago, and then a month later I got fired from my job—both because of my ADHD! Meds help some, but not enough. I get stuck doing some things and don’t get around to doing what’s really important. I procrastinate, and everything takes me way too long. I’m good at programming computers, but not at programming myself.”
—32-year-old computer programmer
9 Sue 169
“Until I got into middle school, I always got really good grades and never got into trouble. Now everybody thinks I’m hopeless just because I dress Goth and don’t do much homework. My parents and teachers all look down on me just because of the friends I hang out with. They don’t really know me or my friends!”
—14-year-old high school student
10 Matt 185
“When I was in high school, I had friends.When I got to college, I didn’t know anyone and was too shy to make friends. I just kept to myself and almost never left my room except to go to class or get meals. I got pretty depressed, and after a while my sleep got messed up. I’ve stopped going to some of my classes.”
—18-year-old college student
11 Lois 203
“I teach special education, so I’ve taught a lot of kids with ADHD, but never realized I have it. I have trouble organizing my stuff and finishing paperwork on time, and sometimes I’m forgetful. I got through college and I’ve been teaching for ten years, but over the past year I’ve had a harder time, and those ADHD problems are getting worse—especially since difficulties at home began.”
—37-year-old school teacher
12 James 219
“If I don’t finish four papers this month, I’m going to be put on probation at school. I just can’t get myself to finish. I’ve had this problem for a long time, but now it’s worse than ever before. I’ve done the research for most of my papers, but I can’t getmyself past the first paragraph in any one of them. I’m stuck!”
—20-year-old college student
13 Getting Unstuck 235
How do the emotions of these teens and adults affect their education, work, family interactions, and social relationships? What treatments are useful for helping people with ADHD get unstuck from these difficulties? What can family members, friends, teachers, clinicians, and counselors do to help?
Questions for Discussion 243
Notes and Additional Reading 251
Index 267
Most of this book is a series of case studies (about a dozen) drawn from Dr. Brown's clients. All of the individuals have ADHD, almost always with co-occurring conditions (anxiety, depression), although most were not diagnosed until they were teenagers or adults. Most of the case study subjects are high school or college students who have hit a road block in school and are on the verge of dropping out or are on academic probation, although a couple of them are adults who are having problems at work or with personal relationship or other life stressors. Each case study describes the circumstances that led the individual to seek treatment along with the approaches taken to improve outcomes (e.g., medication, therapy, changing schools or jobs, etc.). Each study ends with a succinct summary of the different interventions that were used. After the case studies, there is brief chapter that tries to tie things together.
As the parent of a child who could easily have been one of the case studies in this book, I found the book helpful in trying to understand why things started to go so wrong for my child. I wish the book had been available a year ago when I really could have benefitted from it! Evenso, it was still a useful read. I can recommend it for any parent who has a teenager or young adult who is struggling with ADHD. I also think it would be an excellent read for high school and college guidance counselors or other educators working with students who are really struggling in school but who clearly have the potential to do better. The book provides many insights into why these students are having such a hard time and what can be done to help. I think there are many misconceptions by educators that reading this book could help to clear up.
There is great value to some of the insights in this book. A lot more people suffer from these conditions than just those diagnosed with ADHD. One family member has never been classified as ADHD and seems able to focus at length on many things. He is not hyperactive at all and no one would think he fell in the ADHD category, yet he has many of the issues described in this book. I do as well, but I've long known I was ADD. I can't tell you how freeing it was to read this book and realize that the things I've had trouble with my whole life in terms of starting a project easily, for example, could be described in a way that made it understandable.
While the book talks about these various issues as they relate to ADHD, I'll bet even situations like those who desperately want to stick to a diet, for example, and just can't, fall into the same category. That's an area where people are very likely to say one just doesn't have decent willpower, but there's a lot more to it than that. I hope this whole area is better studied in the future and more options made available to people who suffer from some version of these symptoms.
There was a lot more medical and technical jargon used in the book than I thought useful for getting the point across to the average reader. My other complaint was that given the sub title, one might think the book is all about what we commonly think of as emotional outbursts, particularly inappropriate ones. While that is an issue, it's not the only one and I found much more value in understanding the more subtle issues that make life difficult for many of us. Often we hide these less obvious traits and find ways to cope that allow for a reasonably successful life, but it is exhausting and the cost to self-esteem is high.
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